Past
by Elendra
Summary: It’s not an easy thing to escape a past you can’t bury. Meryl had said it, but how much does she really know about the subject. A Twisted tail about Meryl’s life before Vash, Milly and Bernardelli.
1. Prologue, Can’t Bury the Past

A/N: This is my first fanfic ever, so sorry if it sucks. Also I am known for my bad spelling I am sorry for that too. Other than that I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Can't Bury the Past.

* * *

Meryl sat in the dark of her hotel room. Below her, in the saloon, Milly and the man Milly believed to be Vash the Stampede were celebrating the not so serious injury of Mr. Bowstock and the fall of Stan the Sheriff. She had briefly thought of joining then and the town's people before but decided against it. So here she sat, alone in her dark room reloading each of her 50 derringers. She stroked one of the derringers absentmindedly as she reflected on the events of the day. It was today that she had seen the worth of a human life to the mysterious gunman. 

It was strange, looking back now, she realised that she hadn't wanted him to kill anybody.

Meryl suppressed a laugh. When did her kind care for life? She had changed she knew it. She could look, now, at the photos of the time long ago. She didn't recognise the girl in them anymore, she wasn't Meryl any longer that Meryl was a stranger. She closed her eyes, shifting on her bed so that she lent against the wall. She smiled slightly at the moment of peace, before her eyes snapped open, her mind filling with unwanted memories. The Derringer she was fiddling with now tightly culched in her hand, she drew it to her chest slowly, as if it was some form of salvation. "Go away, go away." She whispered to herself.

"MERYL!" A loud call broke her out of her muttering. Then there was a louder thump, followed by some quiet sounds of rustling fabric and someone getting up, Then a series of thunderous hammers on the bedroom door. "MERYL," Milly's voice sounded again. "YOU REally haVE to COME to the PARTY." Milly finally had managed to get the doorknob to work and fell face first into the dark room. She quickly got up once more and grabbed Meryl's unsuspecting hand dragging her from the safety of her room and down into the harsh bright lights of the over crowded saloon.

"Hey Insurance Girls!" A drunken Vash yelled as Milly dragged her cargo over to him. "I would like to introduct, introduce you to my good friend, friend, umm hey brother what's your name again? Ah it doesn't matter. Would you girls like a drink?"

"YES!" Milly cried waving both her arms in the air.

"No, thank you." Meryl said shifting from one foot to the other. She had never done well in crowds. She only ever worked well in small groups or solo, and she preferred it that way. Meryl Strife was a lone creature by nature.

Meryl watched as people around her slowly drunk themselves into a stupor. She rolled her eyes in disgust and the dignity of the patrons disintegrated into nothingness. She snarled at the pathetic memories of her own drunken states, the time when she would have done anything to drown out the visions that played over and over in her mind. She shook her head and lowered herself into seat next to Milly and smiled as she listened to Milly and Vash's drunken ramblings and jokes that didn't make sense.

It didn't take long for the thick tobacco smoke that nestled upon the roof of the saloon to burn Meryl's throat. She wondered how Vash or Milly could stand it for as long as they had. "I'm just going to get a breath of fresh air." Meryl said softly but was drowned out my Milly's singing.

The chilled night's air was a godsend to Meryl. She took in a deep breath as she started to walk up the hard compact dirt road. She stretched her arms out as she travelled unafraid in the deep night. She had no idea where she was going, she only knew that her reports were finished for the day and that for but a moment there was no work to be done.

"Well hello there my dear." A sly thick male voice met her ears.

'Damn it.' Meryl uttered to herself realising all her derringers where still on her bed in the hotel.

"What would an innocent little thing like you be doing all by yourself in a place like this?" Meryl turned to see the man that was talking to her. He was young, maybe 20, 21 at the most, a string of friends behind him smirking at her. His ratty red hair fell over his eyes adding to his shady persona. Meryl took him for the rag tag group's appointed representative. "Now would you like us to… escort you back, it can be mighty dangerous alone."

"No thanks." Meryl said turning away from them hoping that they would just let her go. Instead the leader grasped her upper arm tightly a dark gleam in her eyes. "Do you know who you are messing with? I'm Derringer Meryl." Meryl sneered venomously hoping that the threat with her tone would stop her from having to resort to extremes.

"Well, now, where are you derringers Miss Meryl?" He asked, laughter playing in his voice. His grip tightened even more as he forced her closer to him.

"Would you believe I left them back at the hotel." Meryl said with a nervous laugh.

"Ain't that too bad, Miss Meryl?" He whispered in her ear, his cronies snickering behind him. The red head pulled a butterfly knife from his pants as Meryl removed herself from his smothering grip. "Now be nice Miss Meryl, we're all friends here."

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that you shouldn't play with knives?" Meryl said. 'Great now what do I do. I can't, I won't do that, but what choice do I have? Without my derringers what else can I do?' Meryl thought to herself paying little attention to the group in front of her. "There has got to be another way. I won't go back to that, I will forget, I will forget all of that right now." She whispered allowed, but before she could do anything the red head lunged at her and she went from rational thought to animalistic instinct.

Meryl's breathing slowed. She looked around her, at what she had done. It was like an out of body experience. She didn't think she had done it, even now as the world slowly fell back into place she had no control over her actions. She walked to the nameless red head. He gasped for air like a fish out of water. She grasped his face kneeling down so that she could draw his face close to hers and whispered in his ear softly. "Next time, child, do not underestimate your opponent. You just might find that they are not what they seem."


	2. Lost Years

A/N: I don't know anything about guns, I am sorry if i get any facts wrong about them. 

I would like to thank Buddi-chan Aine of knockaine and Sephiroth1Ripley8 you peoples are the best in the world. You also may find that I say that a lot.

Hugs for all.

* * *

Lost Years.

* * *

Meryl sat at her desk. It had been one year, five months, one week, two days, and 13 hours since she had been called back to the Bernardelli head office. Her eyes were gently closed her chin resting on her hand. The pencil in her over hand lazily tapped against her desk. Meryl sighed nothing seemed exciting anymore. Vash was an assignment that one just couldn't forget. She had cried when they were called back and when HE had left. Meryl leaned back on her chair, letting her arms fall to her sides to sway lifelessly. She just couldn't stop drifting into memories about those times they had spent together, all four of them, Vash, Wolfwood, Milly and herself. She closed her eyes, she felt tired all of a sudden. 

"_Didn't your mother ever tell you that you shouldn't play with knives?_

'What is this?'

"There has got to be another way. I won't go back to that," 

'Go back to what?'

"_I will forget, I will forget all of that right now." _

'I have forgotten who I am. Is that what I wanted?'

"Next time, child, do not underestimate your opponent. You just might find that they are not what they seem."

'No I couldn't have done that, I wouldn't hurt so many people. What would he think of me then?'

"So did you have fun letting your little temper tantrum run its course?" 

"Don't talk to me Kali. It wasn't like that."

'Who is that?'

"It doesn't matter what you tell your friends or yourself but don't lie to me, I am still your commander."

"No, not any more."

'I had to forget.'

"A leopard can't rub out its spots."

"You're wrong."

'I had to forget.'

"Do you think you can just walk away from everything that has happened?"

" _I will forget."_

'I had to forget.'

"And when They come after you what then?" 

"_I don't know."_

'I had to forget.'

"You're going to end up like her, you know."

"_Her…"_

'It must remain forgotten.'

Meryl snapped awake, her head reeling from the memory of years past. "What am I?" Meryl whispered to herself.

"Meryl, MERYL!" Milly run happily right up to Meryl's desk, her eyes shining brightly. "Meryl it is lunch time! Isn't that just the best, I think I am going to have pudding for lunch!"

"Milly you always have pudding for lunch." Meryl said slumping at her desk.

"Well it is like my big, big sister always said, you shouldn't tamper with a good thing." Milly said smiling. "Now hurry up Meryl, Mr. Wolfwood said he would meet us at 1 o'clock and it would be rude to be late."

Meryl looked out the office window. She didn't really like it when they had lunch with Wolfwood; it always made her sad for the soul reason that the Needle Noggin wasn't with them. She forced a smile and turned back to Milly. "I'm sorry Milly, I have so much paperwork that I'll have to work though lunch today, but would you pick me something up?" Meryl asked clapping her hands together as if to pray.

Milly smiled and waved as she walked out of the office and into an elevator. She lent against a wall, her smile dropped. "Oh Meryl." She sniffed. "What is wrong, is it Mr. Vash? Or is it those cloths and weapons that you keep hidden in the bottom of your suitcase?"

* * *

_"We have been here for days already and Meryl still hasn't unpacked." Milly said to herself. "Meryl has been having a hard time excepting that fact that Mr. Vash is Vash the Stampeded. I know I'll help her out." Milly slowly opened the pick travel case. She sifted through clothes she had seen on Meryl before, White shirts Skirts, Stockings…_

_"What is this?" Milly asked herself as she opened the sectioned off storage space at the bottom of Meryl's bag. There sat a set of midnight blue clothes. She lifted out a jacket, it was strange it was a slim fitted short jacket the material was soft and strong, like leather, but it was too light and allowed for too much air circulation for it to be leather. Milly looked around scared of being caught like a child sneaking a look at their Christmas presents early. She looked back into the case. She saw a midnight blue turtleneck sleeveless top, a pair of pants and combat boots. She handled them with surprise. They looked like they had not been looked at for years let alone worn, so why did Meryl keep them. She want to put them neatly back, feeling like she had betrayed her friend in some fashion, But what she found next shocked her more than the clothes did._

_Lining the bottom of Meryl's case was two 9mm handguns, ammunition and from what Milly could see at least nine knives and blades. Milly looked at them scared. She thought that Meryl only had her Derringers on her. This frightened her; these things belonged to a Meryl she didn't know._

_

* * *

_

"Maybe I should ask Meryl about it?" Milly asked herself. The elevator door opened to reveal a smoking Priest being yelled at by the receptionist. Milly smiled. "Hello Mr. Priest!" Millie waved enthusiastically and ran up to him.

"Where is the short one?" Wolfwood asked the cigarette dangling in his mouth.

"Meryl is busy so we have to pick up some lunch for her." Milly said pulling him out the door and onto the street. "I think I want pudding. Say, you haven't found where Mr. Vash is have you Mr. Priest?"

"There is a place I have been looking into. I am going to head out there tomorrow." Wolfwood said with a smile as they walked down the street.

"So soon?" Milly asked looking a little down, but then she lifted her head and a smile was found on her lips. "Just like my big big sister always says, there is no time like present. Oh look, street performers!" Milly grabbed the Priests hand and pulled him over to where the crowd had begun to gather.


	3. Happily Ever After

Song: The Noose by A perfect Circle.

You all rock You are the best in the whole wide world and I love you all.

And a big thank you to:

Sephiroth1Ripley8

Buddi-chan

Tigerrelly

Aine of Knockaine

* * *

Happily Ever After

* * *

"Look Meryl look, it is Mr. Vash! He's back Meryl!" Milly said enthusiastically. She ran from one end of the small town to the other, ignoring the spouting water and newly completed well. Once she reached Vash she hugged him a little to hard and dragged him and his brother to where a shocked Meryl still stood.

That was one week ago. A whole week. Now Vash was tending to his brother and Milly was still working with the team who had built the well. They had been contracted to build a well in the nearest town, that town was a days walk away. That left her alone with Vash, and an unconscious Knives, for a week at least. Alone with Vash.

"Make sure you tell him Meryl, before I get back."

Milly's words would repeat over and over in her head. They were the last words Milly had said to her before she had left yesterday. "I just don't know if I can Milly." She whispered to herself as she started to make dinner in the small kitchen.

"Is everything ok Meryl?" Asked the soft voice of Vash.

Meryl turned sharply, caught by surprise. "Fine, fine everything's is fine Vash, you know you should be resting. You must be tired, after all you have injuries of your own to look after and then there is your brother. You know what why don't I go out and get you donuts for after dinner." Meryl rambled nervously.

"WOW! Really?" Vash asked his crystal clear blue eyes lighting up in surprise and delight. Then his face dropped and became overly serious as he marched up to Meryl and placed a firm hand on her forehead.

"What are you doing you idiot?" Meryl asked rearing back for the warm flesh of his palm.

"Seeing if you're sick." Vash stated with a matter of fact tone. "You have to be sick to be acting this nice."

Meryl's left eye twitched as she slammed her fist into Vash's face. "Idiot." She said as she stomped off.

"Wait, Insurance girl." Vash called out after her. "We have to meet everyone at the saloon. "Milly and Wolfwood might be already waiting for us, and if Knives beats us there then there will be real trouble."

"What? Vash what are you talking about?" Meryl asked. "Milly won't be back till…"

"Don't be silly." Vash cut her off laughing. "They both got back today and knives said he would meet us there, now hurry up or we'll be late." Vash then grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the small house and down the street.

Everone was in a saloon. Laughing drinking having fun, even she was having fun. The night was cool and bright with stars beyond the window and everything was how it was supposed to be. Vash was truly happy and at bounty free, Knives didn't desire humanity's desecration, Milly had pudding, Wolfwood was alive and flirting with Milly. Meryl's lips formed a soft relaxed smile. Everything was perfect. She slowly turned to the band that was setting up. She stared at them for a while. Wasn't the lead singer her boss? Wait no, he turned around to reveal a different person altogether, but he looked like someone. Meryl just couldn't put her finger on who he was. She stopped paying attention to everything around her and just stared at the band. Slowly and softly their music started.

_So glad to see you well_

That voice. Her heart stopped beating and her eyes widened.

"What is wrong Meryl?" Vash asked looking at her with worry in his eyes. She turned to face him but her voice had stopped working.

_Overcome and completely silent now_

Fear worked its way slowly up her spine. She knew she didn't want to recognise these people. They must be fore the time she didn't want to remember. It was a bad time when she was a bad person.

_With heaven's help  
You cast your demons out_

Suddenly everything went dark.

_And not to pull your halo down  
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud_

She turned to find everyone she knew looking at her their faces cast in shadow. Their stance screamed hostility and then they all turned their back, disgusted. The music still played soft and haunting.

_But I'm more than just a little curious  
How you're planning to go about  
Making your amends to the dead_

The darkness blurred. Meryl stood atop a building unable to move her body at her own will. She was dressed in a midnight blue set of clothes, weapons dug slightly into her skin from beneath her attire. The building was in the middle of a vast city, blood dripped freely from a cut on her left arm and blood stained her cheek. Meryl stared at the crumpled form at her feet, and then gave it a good kick before heading to a copper hovering in the air, waiting just for her.

_...To the dead_

She was in dark house of someone, someone important and greedy, someone full of hate and she felt the hatred she had for him. It bubbled inside of her, Meryl could feel flashes of facts and images from memories wiz past in her minds eye. Before she registered that her body had moved she noted she was covered in thick warm blood. She looked down and tried to scream, but her lips didn't open they were coiled into a sly smile.

_Recall the deeds as if they're all  
Someone else's atrocious stories_

Meryl breathing was heavy, and she clasped her rifle tightly. She nodded to her two masked companions as they moved into a stealthy run across the open grass between the ruined buildings. She found that her body would kill and move without her guidance. She slowly began to realise that she wasn't doing this she had done it before.

_Now you stand reborn before us all  
So glad to see you well_

Meryl stood before a large group of people she didn't know but knew she used to. She was dressed in her white travelling clothes and jacket.

_And not to pull your halo down  
Around your neck and tug you to the ground_

She looked at her hands, deep crimson stains formed on them. Her skin rippled as did her clothes. Changing to look a little younger, less beaten by the desert planet. Her white clothes shifted to her dark blue suit, parts her hair fell for the ground till it was even shorter, and slicked back, her long fringe flipped over to left side. Her boots sunk in the blood soaked ground. Corpses were scattered on the ground, men, women and children of every nationality you could name, death didn't, couldn't, and wouldn't discriminate.

_But I'm more than just a little curious  
How you're planning to go about  
Making your amends to the dead_

This time the music came from behind her; she turned to find Vash, Millie and Wolfwood looking at her as if she was some monster. She reached out to Vash but he flinched away from her touch.

_...To the dead_

Even Wolfwood seemed disgusted but the blood that she was drenched in and he himself was a willing and trained killer.

_With your halo slipping down  
Your halo's slipping_

The woman she knew as Kali walked up to her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, it too was blood covered, like Meryl's. That hand offered some strange form of understanding and comfort as her friends spat curses and hurtful sentences her way. It offered a form of protection from their disgusted looks and angry eyes, yet it wasn't enough.

_Your halo's slipping down  
Your halo's slipping down  
Your halo's slipping down_

Meryl screamed herself awake. Shaking uncontrollably as she looked at her hands and watched the blood became nothing. She looked up to see the worried eyes of Vash and Milly "Meryl are you ok, you have been screaming for half an hour." Milly's soft soothing voiced asked. Meryl couldn't answer.

_Your halo's slipping down to choke you now_

Meryl passed out falling to the floor instead of her soft bed, saved from the fall by the fast relaxes of Vash.

* * *

Wow you're still reading. 


	4. Living in a Dream

* * *

Living in a Dream

* * *

"So what happened again?" Meryl asked shaking her head her voice was hoarse and soar. She sipped on the water Milly had retrieved from the kitchen. 

"You were dreaming, then you started to scream. I was so scared Meryl, I have never heard anyone scream like that. It was as if you where facing terror itself." Milly said softly, her kind eyes filling with tears.

"You woke up for only a moment before you fainted." Vash said watching her uneasy movements with hawk eyes.

"I though Milly was at the next town." Meryl managed to say.

"Meryl I came back nearly three weeks ago from digging that well." Milly said taking the empty glass from Meryl's hands.

"What. No it isn't possible." Meryl said her grey eyes, wide and confused. She ran her hand through her short black hair. "You only just finished the over well last week, when Vash came home."

"Mr. Vash came home a month ago Meryl." Milly said hugging her friend. "Don't you remember?"

"No I don't." Meryl said letting the words sink into her mind. "I can't remember, I can't remember anything."

"It is ok short girl." Vash said softly rubbing her head with his real hand.

"No it isn't." Meryl cried her holding her head in her hands. "I can't remember three whole weeks. Maybe even more. What is wrong? What is wrong with me?" Tears run down her soft cheeks. "I can't remember."

"Meryl…" Milly stared to speak when Meryl interrupted.

"You don't understand, I am forgetting again." Meryl said as she moved away from them. "I have forgotten myself once, now it is happening all over again."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Vash asked gently.

"NO!" Meryl snapped as she run to her room like an angry teenager. Meryl buried herself under her pillows. Crying and screaming, scared of what she didn't know and couldn't remember.

"It doesn't matter what you tell your friends or yourself but don't lie to me, I am still your commander."

"SHUT UP!" Meryl screamed.

"A leopard can't rub out its spots."

"STOP IT NOW!" Meryl's voice strained.

"Do you think you can just walk away from everything that has happened?"

"Please, please just stop." Meryl cried. "I just can't take it any more, that isn't me any more, who ever it is you are looking for I am not her." She curled tighter into a ball hugging her knees tightly.

* * *

"Pathetic." Meryl spat. "I hate petty jobs like this." 

"We are in a time of peace, There is no enemies to fight." A woman with dark brown shoulder length hair next to her said.

"Oh please." Meryl sighed as she entered the elevator. "We both know 'peace' just means covert operations and assassinations. There is no actual peace, only cover ups."

The woman laughed. "Despite all that the job pays well enough and you can always say no."

"You know they just want us out of the way." Meryl said angrily. Her hands clenched at her sides. "They are going to start the projects again. They want a better result this time Kali."

"Yes that may be the reason they want us out of the way but you are incorrect." Kali said softly, emotion not touching her voice unlike Meryl. "They do not want a better result, they want a more controllable result. They want something that does not think or question but simple does every little thing it is told, they want a new slave class."

"And you are just going to let them." Meryl turned on her friend her grey eyes full of poison.

"What am I to do?" Kali asked calmly her soft grey eyes locked dead on with Meryl's.

"Something, anything." Meryl said pacing. "It isn't right. I just don't know if I can do this anymore."

"Do what?" Kali asked hints of concern finding its way to her voice. They walked out of the elevator and down the crowded hallway. After a while Meryl just stopped, her gaze went to the window, her eyes held an old sorrow.

"Look out there, Kali." She whispered. "There is nothing but greed and hate, we make a living off of that. But look beyond that to the one without a voice or ability to change what is happening. We are killing her; we are killing the Earth."

"It is ok. Everything will be ok." Kali placed a hand on Meryl's shoulder.

"We both know that is a lie." Meryl said. "Just like this mission. We are just going to be suspended in animation for an indefinite amount of time and then told it was a government blunder. I haven't even heard of spy satellite called Arrow 413"

"I hate the cold." Kali responded turning to leave her friend with her thoughts.

* * *

"Meryl?" It was Milly's voice that woke her. "Oh good you're awake. I'm sorry for not understanding last night. It must be scary to wake up and to have lost the memories of the past few weeks for no reason at all." 

"It is ok… It's ok Milly. I guess I over reacted as well." Meryl said pulling herself out of the bed covers. She felt cold, so very cold like she had been frozen alive.

"I don't think you did." Milly said carefully.

"Oh look at the time. I haven't even written the report yet. I bet the boss wants to know what Vash has been up too, not to mention I need to do into town to pick a few things. I'll pick up the mail while I'm, ok?" Meryl said as she buzzed around the room getting dressing and brushing her hair.

"Don't you think you should take it easy for at least today?" Milly asked as Meryl walked out the door.

"Not worry so much Milly." Meryl said just too casually. "Good morning Vash! I am just going into town for a bit, see you all later." Meryl pulled open the door and briskly walked out. Meryl moved away from the house, the further she got the faster she moved until she was running towards the cliffs that Vash had sat upon before he had faced his brother. "I don't understand, I don't know what is happening to me." Meryl burst into tears. "That isn't me that woman is dead, and if she comes back I am as good as dead."

* * *

"Ah, unit 367861 AKA Meryl." A nerdish man in a white coat said as he looked at his notes on a clipboard. "Welcome back." 

Meryl stood unsure of where the rest of her team was. She felt cold, a reaction one normally gets once they have been reanimated. "I correct in assuming that this is not the Arrow 413 spy satellite." She stated without surprise.

"Well, that thing is…" The scientist said suddenly nervous he had heard what these units could do when angry and this was only the first one.

"Let me guess." Meryl said knowing that once again the government had screwed them over. "There was some sort of malfunction on the satellite and they thought it best that the spy satellite be destroyed rather than fixed. Oh and then there was a filling error or something and we were forgotten about until now."

"Umm, well…" The squirmed beneath her gaze, he was hoping to be able to maintain a level of professionalism whilst doing this but how do you tell someone that they have been frozen for next to 100 years. "Miss Meryl, I have to inform you that you and your team has been under for quite some time. By our calculation you have been under for around 100 years."

"I see…" Meryl said her brain slowly processing this new information. "Tell me something, is my team still hear?"

"Yes." The poor man said slowly shaking so much that his glasses nearly fell off. "I have yet to bring them out of the deep sleep."

"Let me do it." Meryl said, she saw that the scientist's breathing became slower and more even. "Then we will expect a full explanation from your commanding officers."

"You can't run away anymore Meryl, your mind just can't handle it." The soft voice of a woman known as Kali said carefully as an arm draped over her shoulders. "It'll be ok. You won't die, you will just grow into something new."

"But I am afraid." Meryl said as she sobbed quietly.

"Once you let go, you won't fear anymore Meryl." Kali spoke again kissing Meryl on the top of her head. "It'll be ok."

* * *

A/N: Oh such wonderful people you all are. 

Saraki, Thank you so much for your review. You're just too nice. You're in California? Wow I don't think I have ever known/talked to randomly with anyone for there.

Tigerrelly, I hate how Vash will live so much longer than Meryl too. It isn't fair. You know I really want to read your fanfic but I have never seen the show. Do u think I will understand it anyway?

Aine of Knockaine, Mother of two! Cool! I'm reading everyone's bio page at the moment it is really interesting. And I agree that Anime is VERY addictive. And you like A Perfect Circle, you must be the coolest mother in the entirety of the world. Oh and u like Vampire Hunter D, tell me have u ever been able to see the first one? I would love to know if it worth buying.

Buddi-chan, You're the best. WOW u have alter egos too, and I though I was the only one, well not really that was a lie. I have to go and chase something now bye.

Hugs to all.


	5. Project K5913

Sorry for the late update but I have been at work and out and drinking and art focused for a little longer than I had planed to be. But here is the next chapter!

Meryl's POV

* * *

Project K59-13 

_A history lesson_

* * *

What is the earliest memory you have? Mine is being released from my incubator with nine others. If you really wanted to you could call us siblings. The same group of people created us, by the same technology and on the same day. But this is where our similarities end. We where dubbed Project K59-13. There was a series of project K59s before us, but none were like us. We were the demon spawn of science, monstrosities capable of anything and the government's new favourite soldiers. We were genetic gods, who were labelled a mistake only a handful of years after coming into existence. 

Most children are given names when born. I was given a number, 367861. I remember being called 61 for short but only by the others. It wasn't till I was in my late teens that I was given a name. I will never forget that day. I was nineteen, and it was my first undercover mission. Sure I had been to war and missions before, but not like this. I was to have an identity for this job. I remember how proud I had been to be the first to do an undercover mission. 367860 hadn't even done one yet, but who she is can wait for later. I was to investigate the smuggling of weaponry but posing as an exchange student staying with the supposed dealer's family. It wasn't the mission that was wonderful but the fact that I was out in the real world. I could sing and dance and go places and laugh, oh sure it doesn't seem like a big deal to you but it is if you come from a place where laughter isn't an everyday activity. The Alias I had was Meryl Carrson, I was no longer a number I was a person, like the scientists and other soldiers that came in and out of the base. I was the same as Dr. James Nickelson and Major Frank Ashton now.

The others found names for themselves in their own time. Your youth passes quickly when you don't have a childhood and before we knew it we where flying all over the world on missions or a rare holiday. One thing that never changed was our admiration and loyalty to 367860. She was our General, Big sister and God. She could do and handle anything. I remember asking her when I was around, by my guess, the age of five why we had to sleep at regular intervals. It was then that I was introduced to the concept of time and dates. I was told that the year was 2436. Telling you all this makes me feel old. A feature of the K59-13s is our cell regeneration capability, which basically means that if we take care of ourselves our bodies do not die on us but are renewed continuously. This also eliminates the absolute need for sleep. I could go two maybe three weeks with out sleep without feeling tired.

Our creators betrayed us on 21st of May 2553. I told you we where labelled a mistake. We were never meant to be able to make our own discissions based on our life experiences, values, beliefs and conscience. If left to our own devices we could very well take out everyone we so desired to. So on that day we were placed in suspended animation, used for long space exploration, for over 100 years. In that time much had changed. Our government had risen and fallen, new minds had shaped the world and passed on and our Earth was dieing. But we were not brought back to save the world; they wanted to use our genetic structure to create a breed of super-humans. Apparently this government was having some troubles with rebels and… other such things. Lets just say that didn't go over well with 867860 or the rest of us. After that… incident we went away for a while, all together, this world wasn't ready for us and we weren't ready for it.

We didn't come out of hiding for nearly 400 years I am told, but it seems much less, to the point where I wonder if I was frozen the whole time. Our reason for returning, you ask? The Earth was dead. It had died on October 2nd 3031. The water was as dark as blood, the soil unfertile, the magma core was cooling and we faced our extinction. And gladly I would have seen it if it had not been for Project Greenhouse. That is what started it. With focial fuels gone Project Greenhouse created cells that could be used as energy, then names for these cells were Plants and they eventually became so advanced that they could very well be classed as intelligent life forms. No one hated plants more that 867860, I still don't know exactly why. From the events of Project Greenhouse came the War of Sole, Project Seeds and the end of the world.

No one speaks of Sole, no one who went anyway. That war was the war to decide what was the sole future of mankind. Our enemy, radicalises, who wanted to take everyone down with the world, and us? We good little government projects fought to save those who had been chosen to be on Seeds. The war took place on Mars, the planet of red, not because of the soil but because of the blood that was spilt. 100 million died on the hellish planet, Projects K59-01 to K59-09 where completely wiped out, we lost a good man, I learnt to cry and we met _her_.

Alex, brother, friend and lover to one Rem Saverem. Rem, a name I can say I came to hate. She was nice, pretty and idealistic. A reason I think 867865 was drawn to her. She had dreams of a gentle future, dreams that I was never innocent enough to have. We tried to like her for Alex's sake and she us. 867860 didn't get along with her one bit, but she was polite and indifferent towards her, a skill learnt though dealing with diplomats. But Rem showed her true colours at Sole. I laugh about it now, a twisted sick laugh that villains use. A pretty little government scientist girl has no place at war. I doubt that she had any idea what a war was. 867860 drew the line when Saverem was found to be an informant for the enemy. When confronted she said that she didn't want them to get hurt. I can still hear their voices before… before all hell broke loose.

_"Oh but our lives mean nothing right?" 867860 said, a rare venom filling her voice._

_"We have no right to kill them." Rem said back with passion. "Who are we to take the life of another?"_

_"They will kill us without thought, do you want to die?" 867860 ran a hand through her cropped brown hair._

_"We should try to make everyone happy." Rem said with a smile as if trying to convince the war hardy woman._

_"Happy?" She laughed a real laugh. "Rem… child, despite what you want to believe this is war and people die, these people are going to die anyway. Unless you haven't forgotten your department insured that when they limited the amount of people we were taking from this dried up solar system. Life is a bitch Rem child." 867860 turned to walk away but she hadn't made two steps when the explosion hit._

_"Move out!" 867863 screamed clambering over the rumble, I think she stepped on me. "You lot get the wounded out of here, and for god sake get yourself a weapon."_

_"They must have followed wonder woman home." 867860 said beside me nursing her sliced arm._

_"You should pull back." I remember telling her, she smiled that older sister smile telling me it was just a cut._

_"Come on girls we are missing the action." Alex said his happy go luck smile never left his face as he turned his attention to Rem who had called after him begging him no to fight._

_"65 get down now." 867860 screamed as we all hit the dirt, I looked up to see my Alex motionless. He turned back to look at us, his arm resting strangely on his stomach a smile on his soft face even as the bullets tore at his face and body. Sweet, sweet 867865 lingered a moment before collapsing. It was the first time one of our kind died. I didn't know what to do so I stayed there just watching him. 867860 grabbed my hand a pulled me up._

_"Do something, we have to get him help." I said to her somewhere behind me I think I could hear Saverem screaming._

_"He is dead 61, there is nothing we can do, now lets go." She said without emotion, I don't get how she could do that, I sometimes think nothing can affect her, but deep down I know better._

_"But he is dead!" I just couldn't believe it, I was in such shock I didn't notice the shells going off around us. And then, I did what we were made to do, what I was best at._

You need not know the rest, the outcome is known to all. We returned one man down and joined the seeds project. All K59-13 units were assigned to be on the ship Nortica, a battle ship charged with the external protection of the seeds project. Once more I went into the cold sleep, we weren't even awoken for the so-called 'great fall'. I don't know went we got out of those god-forsaken contraptions but I remember being hit by a monstrous heat. 867869 was a mummy like corpse by the time we found his pod, or so I was told, 867860 wouldn't let any of us see the body. I wonder how bad it really was.

I am envious of those lucky enough to die on our home and also I am envious of those who will never know how beautiful our home was. They have no comparison to this place, but I do. I wish Rem hadn't had died in the fall. I would have loved to hear her soft worlds about this place, just to have some form of hope and comfort. I know 867860 wanted her to be alive too, if only to slowly force the breath out of her and watch her die. By the time we located other people we had been walking the sand for years. Some of us split up, others went mad. There was only 60, 68 and myself together when we found a town. We had to have been in those chambers for nearly sixty years. Sixty years have never seemed so long. It was time enough for humans to reconstruct their way of life and gain a somewhat comfortable way of life. For that alone humans are amazing. After all that I went away, I could no longer take this kind of life and without the knowledge of our existence there was no organisation to stop us or use us. I travelled to December and I forgot everything and everyone slowly over the long, long decades. I stopped being 867860 and I became Meryl permanently, Meryl Strife.

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You lot rock. My reviewers should be given medals of honour! 


	6. Unit 867861

A/N: I am really sorry for it being so long for an update. The whole uni and work and life is craziness. Anyway I have also been suffering writers block. Anyway. Enjoy.

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Unit 867861

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"60?" 867861 called out jumping up from her sitting position on the ground. "Kali?" The heated wind brushed against her pale skin. "Come out of hiding I know you're here." Still only the wind replied. "But I heard your call, you have to be here." She sunk slowly back to the ground watching the sky grow dark and the suns sink beneath the rim of the horizon. Once night had taken hold she stood again slowly moving down the cliff. The jagged rock formations and sand beaten houses in the distance seemed all too familiar but she just couldn't place them. The town was most surreal to her. It was like she had known every aspect of this small desert town and yet she couldn't recall ever being here. She was on a planet called Gunsmoke she remembered that much. "Who would call a planet Gunsmoke?" She asked herself quietly.

Vash let out a sorrow filled moan as he passed the local saloon. I was only dusk but the party was well on the way. He knew he wasn't allowed to start drinking yet. Milly had strictly told him to look for Meryl. "Why do I have to look for Meryl, she's a grown woman she can take care of herself. When I find her she is just going to yell at me for not leaving her alone and then she is going to hit me really, REALLY hard." Vash stopped his rambles for a moment to whimper. "But what if she is in trouble? Oh no what if someone has hurt her? Damn it, why wasn't I more careful, bounty hunters are always after me. Shit they must have her and they'll kill her to get to me. HOLD ON MERYL…" Vash started running down the road in a mad panic. "Oh wait here she comes now." The tall blonde skidded to a stop he reached out to touch the passing woman. He felt a strange felling in his stomach kind of like butterflies, but it wasn't the usual feeling he got around her. It was at the point that his brain registered that the feeling was linked to him being airborne. The stampede landed on his back with a painful thump. He was about to say something when Meryl's boot landed heavily on his chest. "Meryl?" he managed to cough out.

"You seem to have me confused with someone else." The raven haired, white clad female stated in a chilling monotone, her dead eyes stared into Vash's. It was at this point that Vash decided something was very wrong.

"Insurance girl I am going to take you home now." Vash said as he forced himself up from under her foot. "You must have amnesia or something, did u fall and hurt yourself. Are you ok?" He gently took her by the shoulders.

"You're crazy if you think I am going anywhere with you." She said in a dark tone. Her right hand slipped to her side ready to retrieve the knife she kept religiously in her belt only to find that she had no belt and was in a white dress. "What? When? How?" She only now realised she was not wearing her standard gear.

"Hey are you ok, insurance girl?" Vash moved to pick her to carry her home, only to be thumped in the head. "Ouch! Insurance girl! That hurt… more than usual."

"Tell me the name of this town now." Meryl snapped at the crumpled figure.

"I don't know the name of this town." Vash said seriously trying to work out how to fix this situation. "Please come back home now, I am sure Milly will know and she is really worried about you."

"You are mistaken, I do not know a Milly." Meryl stated turning to leave.

"I am sorry Meryl but you are leaving me no choice." Vash thought as he prepared to knock Meryl out but he was only met but a swift kick to the face. "Ahhhhhhh!" He wailed. "Meryl come on, you can't just up and leave. You have no money on you and all your stuff is back home."

"So this Milly has my equipment?" Meryl asked her tone dark and dangerous, daring him to lie.

"Umm, yes?" Vash said innocently.

"Then take me to this woman." Meryl stated arms crossed in front of her.

As Vash moved back towards the small house he started to twiddle his fingers nervously. He knew Meryl had been acting weird lately, but this was insane. He was fighting himself not to turn and look at her. He could feel her exactly three paces behind him, directly behind him. He felt a like more than trapped. 'I really really hope Milly can make Meryl… Meryl again.'

876861 watched the man in front of her whilst taking quick glances at the surrounding buildings, the last thing she needed right now was an ambush. 'Where the hell am I?' she thought to herself as she walked the dusty road. 'Ok think, think, think… Ok you where in December, 876860 was there what happened, what happened?' Meryl let out a deep-throated growl. 'No that wasn't my last memory, there was those damn kids in… why can't I remember anything. Why is it I can only see patches of this and that.' "God damn it!" she yelled allowed absentmindedly.

"What?" Vash asked turning around to see what was wrong, only to be hit in the face.

"Keep walking I don't have all night." She snapped she could feel a headache coming on.

As they neared the small house Vash's walk slowed as he reconsidered where he was leading this mixed up Meryl. What if she hurt someone, like Milly? What if she mad Knives really angry? Knives hadn't hurt the girls yet, but then again they had been very careful around him. "This is going to be interesting." Vash muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?" Meryl asked in an irritated voice.

"Um, we're here." Vash said laughing surprised that she could hear him.

"Not much is it?" Meryl said walking straight up to the door and entering swiftly. Vash followed close behind he entered the room to find no one. He was about to call out to Meryl when Milly came down the stairs.

"Mr. Vash, I though I heard the door open, you're back, did you find Meryl?" Milly asked, she looked bright but her voice betrayed her, she was worried.

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Again i am sorry. I'll be submitting the next chapter soon, fingures crossed. 


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